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Writer's pictureOluwafikayo Judith Adegoke

The Art of Roommate-ing: Surviving and Thriving in Shared Spaces


An image of two roommates having an argument

Have you ever shared a room with a sibling? If you have, then you'll know how frustrating it can be, but if you haven't, then news flash, being forced into close space with someone else will test your patience, long-suffering and temperance.


Rose is a University student who has an important test the next day, and she asks her roommates for one simple favour: to keep the noise down for just a day. She made the request a day in advance, hoping for some peace and quiet to study in her comfort zone. But instead of cooperation, Rose found herself battling a loud karaoke session, drama-fueled gossip, and a roommate binging a K-drama on full blast. Her polite reminders were ignored, and she was left wondering how peace would reign.

Sound familiar? If you’ve ever shared a room, you can probably relate to the frustration.


Well in case you're in ever find yourself in this kind of situation or any roommate related situation, these are tips to help you survive and thrive in shared spaces:


  1. Set Clear Expectations Early On

Yes communication may not exactly be an easy thing but one of the first things you should do when you move in with a roommate is establish boundaries. Have an open conversation about your schedules, preferences and expectations for shared spaces and respect for each other's routines. This can go a long way in preventing future conflicts.

An image of a quote saying "before you complain about your needs being unmet, first ask yourself 'have I communicated them?'"

2. Learn the Wisdom of Compromise

It’s easy to feel like the victim when your roommates aren’t cooperating. But part of surviving shared living is recognizing that everyone has different needs.

While it's important to stand your ground when you need peace, it’s also crucial to practice compromise. Find a middle ground.

An image of a quote saying "learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break"

3. Use the Power of Patience (But Know Your Limits)

Sharing a room will test your patience, no doubt. But patience doesn’t mean letting yourself be walked all over. If you’ve expressed your needs respectfully and your roommates still aren’t listening, you have every right to assert yourself.

That said, patience is a valuable tool for surviving roommate challenges. Understand that not every little thing needs to be a battle. Learn to pick your battles wisely.

An image explaining why tolerance is needed

4. Create a Personal Escape Plan

Even the best roommates can get on each other’s nerves occasionally. That’s why it’s essential to have a "personal escape plan." Whether it's heading to the library, finding a cosy café, or slipping into a quiet corner of campus, you have a go-to spot where you can escape for some peace and quiet when you need it.

An image of a quote saying "there are times when alone is the best place to be"

5. Address Problems Before They Escalate

One mistake many roommates make is keeping in little annoyances until they explode. It’s much easier to address a problem when it first arises than after weeks of pent-up frustration. If you’re feeling uncomfortable or disrespected, bring it up calmly and maturely. Express how the situation affects you, rather than accusing your roommate.

An image of a quote saying "if you avoid the conflict to keep the peace you start a war inside yourself.


Thriving in Shared Spaces

Surviving roommate life is one thing, but thriving in it is another. Thriving means not only avoiding conflicts but also building positive relationships with your roommates. Share your interests, communicate openly, and build trust. You may not always be best friends, but fostering a respectful and cooperative living environment will make your shared space much more pleasant for everyone.

An image of two roommates having fun

At the end of the day, mastering the art of "roommate-ing" is about finding a balance between your needs and your roommates' needs, between asserting yourself and being patient, between living together and still having personal space. With the right mindset and some practical strategies, you can move from just surviving shared living to thriving in it.



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